For those of you who reviewed the last chapter of LTP, I had promised you a bonus scene. Problem? FF.net is being a piece of work (What's new, right?!) and wouldn't let me respond to your reviews. Rather than make you wait longer, I just decided to post it here for your enjoyment. So Enjoy! Leave a comment if you like!
I didn’t know what I was saying anymore, and I didn’t even care to know.
“I want to, Seth. It’s okay. I want to.”
The words came from my mouth without my control. When you have your half naked, panting, so-hot-you-could-lick-him-and-like-it-best friend on top of you, you tend to lose your rational train of thought, I suppose.
And he was. He was so beautiful, and I could barely even see in the dark room. My hands moved from the sheets to touch his arms; I needed to feel that he was real. I needed to feel what my mind was telling me was right in front of me.
My hands slid over his hot muscles – slowly, at first – before melting into them like butter over hot popcorn. Seth was so inviting like this that it made me ache – literally – for him. I hadn’t had sex in over a year, if what I'd had with Brady you would even call ‘sex.’ I was too happy with my life to even think about sex, and too wrapped up in my school girl crush on Seth to even consider having it with someone else. But now…with him hovering on top of me, his warm breath blowing on my chest, teasing me, taunting me…I couldn’t resist.
He stared down at me. I caught the dim gleam of his eye in the faint moonlight, and I saw that he looked utterly clueless as to what to do. That idea appealed to me – the idea of Seth really not knowing what to do. That would be special: what if we had never been with other people before now, before this moment? What if we were actually able to give ourselves to one another, instead of all of the other people first? I wished Seth could have been my first…maybe then I could have spared myself all of those miserable years as a teenager, stupidly trying to find love and affection in all the wrong places.
Maybe, if I had met Seth first, I would have always been as happy as I am now.
Maybe, if I had met Seth first, I never would have been broken at all.
Yes, that was it, I decided, as I stared up at him. I would forget all others before him and make tonight my first time in my mind. I felt like that was the smartest decision I had ever made. He licked his lips and glanced down my body, as if deciding what to do.
“You’re thinking too much again,” I reminded him. I pulled him toward me, silently urging him to let me feel more of his glorious body against mine. Maybe some of whatever made him so beautiful and god-like would rub off on me.
You’re crazy, I chided myself.
He resisted at first, but his façade of control was fading. Taking a gulp of air, I reached behind myself and unsnapped my bra. I tossed it to the floor and looked up at him for his reaction – or was it approval?
He stared into my eyes. He was visibly panicked as he debated whether or not to look. His gentlemanly demeanor was the same in the bedroom and out, I realized.
No one was perfect, but Seth Clearwater sure as hell came close.
“You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to….but I’m not ready to stop,” I said.
His eyes dropped down to my breasts, and that was the next sign he was losing control. He was looking at me. I felt my skin turn hot as I blushed, but I reminded myself again: I want this.
“Seth, please…I’m dying here,” I whispered. My voice was laced with desperation, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him that much. “Please…just tonight? We’ll worry about everything tomorrow. Just let me know….just once, what it’s like.”
“What what’s like?” he asked, looking back up at my eyes.
“To be with you. Like that. Not just as friends….I want to be with you like…like I’m hoping you want to be with me. Do you want to be with me?”
I felt stupid. I was begging. I wasn’t begging for sex, or attention, or anything like that; I was begging for love – for him to love me and to feel what it was like to have him want me like that.
Shame burned through me as I turned on my side, letting him roll off of me. My desperation was tangible in the darkness, and I hoped he couldn’t see my embarrassment.
I wouldn’t let this stop me. I couldn’t. I watched as he lowered himself onto his side, almost mirroring my position. Sliding my leg over his hip, I tried to make my embarrassment simmer and take control. I moved closer to him, drawn like a magnet. I kissed his chest – his perfect, chiseled, hot chest – and felt him shudder. He did like it.
I was drawn to him, but still scared. What if he rejected me? By the way he was breathing, though…I didn’t think that would happen. Tentatively, I pressed a soft kiss to the first part of his body that I could touch. His chest. Oh, Mother of God.
His tight, muscled, sinewy chest. His skin burned against my lips, searing through me like lightning would a tree in a thunderstorm. My hands slid up broad planes of his muscles, my right hand hitching onto his arm as I kissed him again and again. I felt his body relax slightly against my mouth, and then … he was giving into me.
Seth was finally giving in.
I knew it was cliché to act like a horny teenage girl and grind myself against him…but I was a horny teenage girl. I pulled myself against his hard body, the friction giving me shivers of joy. He was hard, and that gave me endless satisfaction. He was harder than concrete, harder than any boy I’d ever been with. Well, I wasn’t with a boy, I was with a man, but still…the concept was the same.
Mmm, yes…Seth is quite the man.
My lips dragged themselves across his collar bone and up his neck without my permission, growing more and more needy with each kiss. I couldn’t help myself anymore; the man oozing liquid sex beside me was more than my teenage body could handle. He was so beautiful, it wasn’t fair. I needed him, and I needed him now.
I slid my hand up his neck as stealthily as I could…there was no turning back now. My fingers wove into his shaggy black hair, and it was so soft against my hands that it almost distracted me from pulling his mouth down to meet mine. I could feel him smile against my lips as I kissed him, and he finally returned the favor, kissing me deeply between smiles and chuckles. I laughed with him, both of us giddy.
I jumped when his hand slid down my side, lovingly touching every curve and surface of my skin. He lay propped on his side now, his hand exploring every area but the ones I wanted him explore. I thought I was going to go mad.
“Seth…” I whispered between kisses. I hitched my leg tighter against him, moaning slightly at the delightful friction between us. So good.
“You’re thinking again, I can feel it.”
“Yes. Thinking is bad, remember?” I kissed his perfect jaw, trying to make him do anything but think. I just wanted his hands on me at this point, as my body was practically screaming for him. My hormones felt like a pinball inside of me, except there wasn’t just one; there were six thousand of them going at a time. My body was going to explode if he didn’t give in to me.
“Oh…yeah…very bad,” he muttered, before letting his lips crash into mine.
They did that thing where they melted together again…making me crazy and happy, all at the same time. His hand ghosted up my side again, and I could feel his hesitation to touch me. I arched my back and moaned into his mouth, hooking my leg even tighter against his. When I felt like I would explode, his hand finally covered one of my breasts, gently palming it with his warm hand.
The spot between my legs tingled as he touched me, and I knew I was going to combust if he didn’t go further than just second base. I knew he wanted to…I could feel it. That was the crazy thing about being with Seth like this. I could almost feel what he wanted to do to me, and it was like being tortured with the promise of an eventual release. It was utter misery and beauty, all rolled into one.
“You feel really…good,” I mumbled, grasping his bicep. I forced his hand to stay on me, softly massaging my breast as we kissed. “But…Seth…why don’t you…why don’t you want me as much as I want you?” I didn‘t mean to sound like I was pitiful, but I knew that‘s how it had come out.
“What? Is that what you think?” he asked, breaking away. His hand stopped its movements, and suddenly, both of his hands were on my cheeks.
“Regan, I want this. But are you sure you do? I have to be sure.”
“Seth,” I said, my voice shaky, “I want this. I want you.”
He pinned me on my back faster than lightning after that. I couldn’t complain; his weight on my body was wonderful, the perfect mix of comforting and satisfying. My chest heaved as I fought to remain in control, but his lips trailing down my neck and chest were making it hard to hold a thought for more than a split second. He took one of my nipples in his mouth, and I felt my vision cross. How could a mouth feel that good? Was that even legal? I shifted my body down slightly, begging him for more…anything. I grinded myself against him, needing some friction to ease my delightful suffering as he pleasured my chest. He continued kissing and sucking, while at the same time, moving on top of me further, letting his body sink down onto mine completely.
When his lips came back up to mine, we both breathed a sigh of relief. As much as I loved the feeling of his mouth on me, it felt so right to kiss him. Not just kiss. Make out. We were making out and fooling around. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be doing this with Seth, I would have laughed…and then gone home and fantasized about it.
I had to make this real for myself. It felt like a good dream that I was going to wake up from at any moment. My hand slid down his ripped stomach, both testing and teasing him. He groaned into my mouth and paused his kisses as my hand found his hardness. It was hot and hard and….oh my. My mind screamed as I felt his length. I knew he was physically a large guy, but I had no idea that all of him would be that…big. He groaned again as my hand came back up to cup his cheek.
“How could you ever…doubt how much I want you? You’re perfect,” he said between kisses.
I paused, fighting the urge to smile to myself at his words.
“Guys don’t say things like that in real life.”
“You want me to stop talking? I’m not lying,” he said, as he placed a tantalizingly, firm, and slow kiss on my shoulder where my neck began.
My skin began to tingle as I fought to remain coherent. “Then no,” I admitted.
He chuckled to himself, propping himself on his elbow. He hovered over me; I could feel his warm breath on my skin. Reaching out, he began to drag a finger over my lips. Down he went, over my jaw, down my neck…he was giving me goose bumps. Hell, every time he touched me, he practically made me want to jump out of my skin. The closer he got to my chest, the louder my heart beat against my chest, making my body practically radiate with need. His eyes flicked up to meet mine, and in the dim light, I could just barely make out the tiny smirk he gave me when he touched the place above my rapidly fluttering heart. He could feel it.
As if reading my thoughts, he placed with wide, warm palm against my heart, visibly listening to it beating.
I felt exposed. He could feel what he did to me, and I felt exposed.
“It only does that for you, you know,“ I admitted.
He sighed, blowing his warm, spicy scent over me. “Is that so?”
I could only nod like a giddy school girl. He hovered over me, teasing. I reached up, weaving my hands in his shaggy black hair, which was surprisingly soft. Pulling him towards me, I felt my pounding heart rejoice as his lips crashed into mine again. We made out like two Juniors on prom night that were just minutes away from curfew. I couldn’t get enough of the man that was now kissing and tasting me like he had never kissed anyone before me. It should have scared me, but…it made this feel more like the first time for both of us, not just me. Everything was so new and delightful and…wonderful. I had never felt this connected to anyone I had been in bed with; they were always just boys that had paid attention to me for more than fifteen minutes. But now, I felt like I was in bed with my best friend, and that felt strangely right.
His body felt so good – better than I thought it would have. And believe me…I’d spent a lot of nights at that point thinking about how his body would feel. As he kissed down my chest, I tried to make my brain cooperate long enough to compare him to something so that I could remember it later. Hmm…silk. And marble. Warm, silk covered marble. Yes, that was more like it.
Then…when I thought things couldn’t get better…our bodies shifted just the right way, joining us perfectly. We were only separated by my underwear and his thin shorts, but that was enough to feel him – all of him. His hardness grinded against me, making me moan in surprise. He sucked on my neck, as his hands began to knead at my hips.
His hand slid down my stomach, ever so carefully. He was almost timid when touching me – not that I minded. For once, it was nice to have someone act like this with me. It made me feel wanted and somehow worthy. When he pressed his fingers against me through my underwear, I let another moan sip out.
Oh sweet Jesus…
Ripples of pleasure made their way up my spine, making me grab the sheets and curl my toes. Without thinking, my hand yanked at his shorts. They were flimsy and behaved, allowing me to easily push them down farther. However, the continued movement of his hand against my center made it hard to really do much of anything.
“Take them off,” I managed to whisper.
I leaned up, kissing him softly, pleading. He obeyed almost immediately. Was he waiting for my permission? My approval? I couldn’t be sure. The only thing I was sure about was that I was definitely naked in Seth Clearwater’s bed, and I knew I would combust if I didn’t get what I wanted: him.
His hand ghosted over me, tentative. Kissing him again, I tried to make him feel reassured that what we were doing was okay. After all, how could something this glorious not be okay? Finally, he gave in. I jumped slightly when I felt his hand hover over me. I could feel his breath hitch, and my back arched when he finally – just barely – touched my skin. His finger slipped inside, both of us exhaling in relief as his warm hand caressed me right where I needed him the most. A few passes inside of me, and his thumb joined the party, rubbing my clit in lazy circles. I felt my head slam against the pillow, my breathing instantly ragged and needy.
Seth exhaled again, and I could feel his gaze on me. I didn’t care. The planet could have spun out of orbit, and I wouldn’t have even lifted my head off that fucking pillow. As long as he was here, above me, touching me like I was made of glass, giving my body what it needed…
He finally touched me – really touched me – like I wanted him to. My legs fell open wider, inviting him even more. He rubbed me amazingly right, like he had done this to me a thousand times. Hell, he could touch me better than I could myself, and that was saying something. My back arched further, begging him for more as he moved slowly over me, learning my body.
“Mmm, Seth,” I groaned, as he made another pass over my clit.
He focused his attention there, my body reacting with every touch he gave me. Leaning down, he placed more lingering, soft kisses on my neck, as if to urge me closer to what I needed from him. Before thinking, my teeth sank into his shoulder to muffle my cry of pure, undulating pleasure.
“Seth, please,” I begged. I didn’t care if I sounded desperate or pathetic at this point. No, at this point, I just wanted him where his fingers were. If his fingers felt that good, how would the rest of him feel? Sign me up for that test.
His body shifted on top of me, and the next thing I knew, I was being pinned to the bed by Seth’s body. Seth’s hot, tan, muscled body. Did I mention hot?
I felt his blazing hot tip press against my entrance, and it made me want to explode. I had never wanted anything more than I wanted this man inside of me, and now. Seth froze, his body stilling above mine for a brief second, as if he was debating something.
If he stopped now, I was certain I would just die.
He didn’t disappoint me.
He pushed inside, my walls slowly stretching to accommodate his size. Being with him like this didn’t disappoint.
“Oh, God,” he groaned, dropping his forehead against mine.
I moved my hips, tilting them back to let him slide all the way into my body, joining us completely.
“Uhgh, Seth,” I moaned, making I’m sure what was an unrecognizable noise as I slid my hands down his back.
I could feel a tiny amount of sweat on the surface of his skin, but it was in no way gross. I pulled and tugged at him, wanting him closer and tighter against me. I couldn’t get him close enough to me as he began to move. His arm wrapped around my stomach, drawing our bodies together completely as he began to find a steady rhythm that soon had both of us completely quiet.
My leg went around his waist without my permission – not that I minded. It tilted my pelvic bone in a way that only made him slide deeper into me, giving my body another ripple of raw pleasure.
“Fuck, Regan,” he practically growled.
Goose bumps rose up on my skin again at the deep, needy timbre of his voice. I had never heard him sound like that before, and it made my nether regions twitch with desire for him. His mouth on my breast made my head fall back against his pillow again and my brain stop working. My hand glued itself around his bicep that was holding him up, feeling the muscles bend and flex beneath it. As if he could get any more appealing, the pattern he set against my body was sending my senses reeling. The heat and darkness in the room made it feel like a sauna, but that didn’t bother me; instead, it cocooned me in a feeling of steamy euphoria as he rocked his body against mine.
And then he grabbed my leg, hitching it around his muscled hip. I wasn’t even aware that hips had muscles, for shit’s sake.
But Seth’s did.
Oooh, did they ever.
My leg molded to his hip and back like clay, tilting my pelvis in just the right way. His thrusts sent me reeling again, my eyes falling shut and another moan leaving my mouth. Oh, the noises this boy could coax from my lips…
Seth raised himself up as he thrust, his eyes closed in the dim light. From what I could see, he was definitely enjoying himself, which only made my own feelings that much more intense. He liked being with me like this. I know I should be thinking, “Well, duh, the guy likes getting laid,” but I wasn’t. I felt different to be with him like this; it didn’t feel cheap. Or easy. Or careless. It felt right.
He came back down to me, pressing his hot, silky chest against mine, kissing me sweetly on the lips. His lips pressed against mine gently, his movements stilling as if he was savoring it – savoring kissing me. A soft groan left his mouth as he lazily kissed me again, his full, plump lips dragging across mine. I couldn’t help but feel like that kiss meant something. No, I wasn’t just a useless fuck to him. A guy had never kissed me like that during sex – ever.
“God, I love you.”
Good thing he bent down to kiss my neck, for I’m sure my eyes nearly bulged out to the ceiling.
What? Who says that? Who says that during sex?
Romance novel characters, that’s who.
I barely had time to freak out, before he put his mouth back on my breast and did something to my nipple that made me forget coherent thought.
Suddenly, I realized something: I was seriously close to having an actual orgasm during sex. Sure, guys had gotten me off in the past using their hands, but…I had never managed to achieve that same feeling of fireworks during sex. Unfortunately, most of my romps were in the backseat of a car, and well…we usually didn’t have much time for the details. I had never had an orgasm this way, and it may sound silly, but I was psyched. I temporarily forgot all thoughts of the three little words and focused on the tightening in my abdomen. Seth slowed his movements, thrusting slower and deeper, as if to help me get where I needed to be. He continued teasing my chest, varying between licking and sucking, and it felt marvelous. My body began to climb.
Oh, so this is really happening.
The unmistakable sensation slammed into me, sending all of my senses reeling.
I could see his spiky, tousled hair outlined in the dark, reminding me of how I had run my fingers through it and messed it up.
I could smell his masculine, clean scent as his breath blew over me and his body molded with mine.
I could hear his labored breaths and tiny moans every time I clenched against him.
I could feel the heat – the blinding heat – against my skin as he throbbed inside of my feminine walls.
I could taste him on my lips – the spicy, coffee-tinged flavor that was so distinctly Seth.
He was more than I could take, but something I would never willingly let go. Talk about a double-edged sword.
I urged my mind to stop thinking and instead, focus on how he was giving me the most mind-numbing orgasm of my life. Literally, my brain had stopped working, and I was only able to feel his cock going in and out of me at a tantalizingly slow pace and his lips as they teased my chest. I felt paralyzed with the intense waves of bliss as they rolled over my body, coming to a climax where our bodies were joined. The searing hot connection between us was tangible as he moved within me, thrusting slowly against my hips. I gripped his shoulders as I came, unable to even whimper.
And then…as if my own climax wasn’t enough, I felt him exhale sharply. His body shook slightly, shuddering with release as his own orgasm wracked his body. I clung to him as we came together, still unable to move, or really even think.
I heard Seth groan slightly above me, his stomach contracting with the large breaths he was taking to calm himself. His forehead dropped to my chest, and I could feel the droplets of sweat that had pooled there. It felt amazing to know that I had been the cause of them.
Raising his head, he looked down at me in the dim light, his eyes searching. What was he looking for? Disappointment? Hell no. I could die a happy woman at the ripe old age of eighteen now.
I closed my eyes in exhaustion, only to feel his nose press against my cheek. His warm breath blew across my skin, coating me in his warmth. I could feel my body shaking slightly as we lay there, still completely connected. I don’t think either one of us wanted to break the bond we had formed, both physical and not.
And then…he kissed me.
Not just on my lips.
As if this man was not perfect enough, he kissed me.
He kissed my cheeks. My nose. My forehead.
He had gotten me; he had conquered me in the most intimate of ways, and yet…I could still feel how much he wanted me.
He still wanted me.
His forehead dipped again, resting one mine for another moment or two, before he rolled off of me, collapsing on the soft sheets with a sigh. Immediately, I felt empty, but I didn’t protest. Something twisted in my stomach, but it wasn’t anything I was used to feeling. It was need. However, it was different this time. This time, it wasn’t laced with fear and regret. He wouldn’t leave me in the middle of the night, or drop me at my house after curfew, or sneak out before dawn. No…I still needed him, but I knew he would always be there.
My breath was shaky with uncertainty. He'd said he loved me. Did he mean it? Did I love him back?
Of course I did.
I’d have to be crazy not to. Who wouldn’t love Seth Clearwater?
I did, though. I did love him. As crazy as it was, as absolutely insane as it was to love him…I did.
I sat up on my elbow, needing to see him. Moonlight poured through the windows, making it a little easier for me to see him in the blackness.
He lay there on his back, his arms at his side, still breathing ragged. His eyes were burning holes into the ceiling of the large white room, and I felt a pang of uncertainty. Was he mentally berating himself for giving in to me? Was he already regretting it all?
The small space between us on the bed suddenly felt like a canyon.
I fell back on the pillow, content to at least share this space with him for the night. Claire would need to sleep off her hangover, and I knew he probably told Sue I was….taken care of. He was an adult, after all, and he always thought of those things.
I still was left unsure.
“Commere,” he urged, and a split second later, his hot hand was wrapped around mine.
He pulled me towards him, including his other hand in the effort. I found myself against his warm chest, the feeling of it soothing, compared to the chilly room around us. I twisted my leg against his, seeking warmth. His house was cold. In the few minutes I was close to him, my body had almost overheated. Being away form him made me feel almost corpse like.
Laying my head on his chest, I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. As if by habit, I let my hand cover his beating heart, feeling its rhythm. It was so strong. It thudded against my hand, its strong beat lulling me to sleep.
“Am I too hot for you?”
I shook my head no, my eyes already drifting shut as I listened to his steady heart beat. As I drifted off to sleep, one thought both haunted and comforted me.
I was in love with Seth Clearwater. And now that I’d had him, I’d do anything to keep him.